Team Baka
by Evil Little Emo Bitch
Summary: An emo, a navy cadet and a nut job unite, for truth, justice and COOKIES! They are TEAM BAKA! Folllow their adventures in Naruto-verse! My first story.
1. Oops

**Hallo! I was forced into co-writing this story by Kyu Furi. Though I wrote most of this chapter because I was bored so I wrote. WEE!**

**Summary: An emo, a navy cadet and a nut job unite, for truth, justice and COOKIES! They are TEAM BAKA! Folllow their adventures in Naruto-verse!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, we would be in it and Sasuke and Naruto would be glued to eachothers faces. (ew...)**

**Warnings: Swearing, swearing and more... swearing. I don't write smut.**

**Three OC's! Mine, Kyu's and our friend Matt's.**

**Now on with the story!**

* * *

**Team Baka**

"What the fuck is going on?!"

"This… is… weird."

"What is that?!"

Tsunade eyed the interrogation chief with distrust. It sounded a little too twisted to be true. Ibiki merely handed her the files of data that had been compiled by his scribe as he questioned the three intruders about their purpose for being in the village. Groaning she took the thin file and flipped it open.

**Data File **on intruders found in section F of the eastern forests.

3:54pm Thursday 1st May

**Questioner: **Ibiki Morino

**Attendant: **Izumo Kamizuki

**Subject One**

**Name: **unknown

**Age: **13-14 approx

**DoB: **unknown

**PoB:** unknown

**Gender: **female

**Hair: **white/grey

**Eyes: **amber

**Height: **5ft approximately

**Weight: **120 lb approximately

**Noticeable features: **feline pinna and coccyx, with black pelage, speech impediment.

**Chakra: **average for age, good control, suggests previous training.

**Muscles: **Slightly above average for a female of the subjects age

**Notes: **Subject refused to consent to measurements or questioning and fought against the attending chuunin in an uncontrolled way. Also knows many swear words, and uses them liberally. Has told both questioner and attendant to 'fuck' themselves with a steel 'dildo'.

**Subject Two**

**Name:** unknown

**Age:** 13-14 approx

**DoB: **unknown

**PoB:** unknown

**Gender: **female

**Hair: **black/brown

**Eyes: **silver/grey

**Height: **5ft 5inch

**Weight: **160 lb approximately

**Noticeable Features: **tattoos over right arm-forearm and left leg-calf. Tongue and nose pierced with small hoops of a silver-ish metal. Most likely nickel.

**Chakra: **slightly above average for age, low control, suggests no previous training

**Muscles: **slightly above average for female of subjects age

**Notes: **Subject has not spoken a word to the attending chuunin since being brought in. Also insisted on moving herself rather than being moved physically by the attending chuunin.

**Subject Three**

**Name: **unknown

**Age: **15 approx

**DoB: **unknown

**PoB: **unknown

**Gender: **male

**Hair: **blonde/brown

**Eyes: **blue/grey

**Height: **5ft 7inches

**Weight: **140 approx

**Noticeable Features:** wears glasses

**Chakra: **average, average control, speculation over training or natural control

**Muscles: **above average, signs of hard physical training

**Notes: **Subject demanded to know what was going on repeatedly, shows signs of panic, and attacked subject 1 and accused her of doing something. (quote) "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO?!"(end quote)

Tsunade placed the file back on her desk, looking up at Ibiki.

"Okay bring them here." _At least it means I don't have to do paperwork._

Ten minutes and several chakra enforced restraints later, Ibiki returned. This time accompanied by six chuunin and three teenagers. Tsunade looked over the three strangers, scrutinizing them. The first was surrounded by three of the chuunin, tied up and held in place. Her eyes screamed murder as she fought against the restraints. Growling and swearing as she did so. The second girl only had one chuunin standing close behind her. She was frowning as if trying to solve a difficult conundrum and occasionally glancing at her fellows. Her hands were twitching in nervousness and her mouth was clamped tightly shut as if to counter her neighbours noise. The third and final was the only male of the three. He was being held back by restraints like the first, but he wasn't trying to attack the chuunin holding him; he was after the other screeching teen. He was turned fully towards her; trying to struggle out of his position and leap at her. Screaming obscenities at her and apparently ignoring the presence of the Hokage herself. '_Now I know why the quiet one is in the middle_.' Tsunade thought to herself as she stood to address the strange outlanders. "Who are you and what business have you here?"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" the silvette screamed at the boy, whilst trying to jerk her arms free from the chuunin's grasp unsuccessfully. The male kicked out at her but was brought up short by the two chunin holding his arms back

"How the hell did this happen then?!"

"HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW DICKHEAD?!"

"RETARD!"

"FUDGEFUCKER!"

"Both of you SHUT UP!" the Godaime yelled whacking both of them across the head. The boy swore and wobbled on his feet, dazed from the blow. The girl suddenly went limp and collapsed to a sitting position on the floor; dragging the unprepared chunin with her, before saying "Ow." quietly, her ears pressed flat to her head. Her ears… her cat ears. And tail. Tsunade stared at the girls head where two black furred cat ears lay, cowed from the blow. "…well that's something you don't see everyday."

Six chunin and an agreement to behave later and Tsunade sat back in her chair, with the three facing her, the brunette had yet to speak a word, but silently sat between the other two.

Tsunade turned to face the silvette, deciding that she was most likely to be in charge of… whatever this group was. "First question: Who are you and what is your business here?" The teen lifted her head as she was spoken to, and frowned. "That's two questions". Tsunade glared at the annoying 'hybrid' as she decided to call her, and reached under her desk for her spare bottle of sake. She took a swig "You still have to answer both." she explained, not trying to correct herself.

"Well… how do we know we can trust you?" The still unnamed teen asked, in all seriousness.

"You don't." Tsunade said bluntly. "You still have to answer though." The silvette looked deep in thought, then looked at her fellows and shrugged. She pointed to herself "I'm Danie." She pointed at the silent brunette "She's Sarah." Then she leaned forward slightly to reach her arm past her and pointed at the now quiet boy "He's Matt." She returned her hand to her lap and looked up at Tsunade.

"Go on." She encouraged, glad that they were finally getting somewhere. The silvette, now known as Danie, just frowned again, and mumbled something under her breath that Tsunade heard as "Yeah 'cause you're _really _gonna believe us anyway." She raised her eyebrows at this. '_What could be so unbelievable that even _I _wouldn't believe it?'_

Danie took a deep breath "Wecomefromanotherworldwhereyou'rejustcartooncharactersandwedon'tknowhowwegothereandwedon'tknowhowtoleave" She got it all out in the one breath… and Tsunade hadn't understood a word of it. "Can you repeat that?" She requested, taking another swig of her bottle of sake. Danie repeated herself, but slower this time.

"We come from another world. Where you are just cartoon characters and we don't know how we got here and we don't know how to leave." Danie winced at how silly that sounded and took another breath "But I _swear_ it's not my fault!"

Tsunade just stared. Either this girl was an absolute loon _'A definite possibility'_ Or something _very_ strange has happened. She decided it must be the latter. After all the girl had **cat ears**, that was hardly something you could blame on insanity. Plus there were three people… Tsunade had to find out more about this. She turned to the brunette, Sarah. "What do you have to say in all this?" she gestured at the three. Sarah just looked at her hands

"…"

'_How informative' _Tsunade thought, looking her over. She decided to work on it later. She took a swig of sake and pointed a shaky finger at Matt. "What about you?" He glared at Danie again and then looked at Tsunade.

"I have no idea what's going on. I was just sitting in Danie's house, with her and Sarah and then I was here. But I know that somehow it's Danie's fault." Said girl made a sound of protest but quieted when both Matt and Tsunade sent death glares in her direction. Tsunade sat and thought for a moment. She could try to find some way of getting them back to where they came from… but that would take some time. She couldn't have them locked up in the Hokage tower the whole time. But she couldn't let people know what had happened. There would be mass panic. Then, she had an idea.

"Ibiki. Get these kids some proper clothes and find them a place to stay. They're going to be staying for a while."

"What's going to happen to us?" Tsunade jumped. Those were the first words she'd heard come out of Sarah's mouth. "Well, we're going to try and find a way to get you home, and in the meantime, you will pretend to be travelling ninja from another village. You will get new names-" Tsunade was interrupted by a squeal from Danie. "Can we pick our own names?" she asked hopefully. Tsunade tried to take another swig of sake but realised that there was none left _'Damn. I should have bought more.' _She tossed the empty bottle on the floor, knowing that someone would pick it up later.

"Yes. You can pick your names. But as I was saying, you will get new names, and you will train as ninja, with new equipment. You will live as ninja until we can get you back safely." Tsunade looked at the trio's expressions. Danie was grinning widely. Sarah looked content. And Matt just looked utterly confused. There was a knock on the door. Ibiki walked in, carrying a pile of papers, three sets of clothes, and some keys. He looked at Tsunade.

"Here are suitable clothes, keys to a three bedroom apartment where they can stay, and some extra papers I was told to send up to you." Tsunade pulled a face as the new mound of papers was placed on her desk. She then took the clothes and gave a set each to the teens, making sure to give them the appropriate sizes. She then tossed the keys to Sarah.

"Hey! How come _she _gets to carry the keys!" Danie protested, tail twitching in agitation.

"Because, Danie, She seems least likely to _loose _them." Danie looked indignant, but then simply folded her arms and 'hmphed'. "Go to the apartment, get changed, and think of suitable names. I will send someone to check on you in two hours. Have fun." At this Tsunade shooed everyone out of the room and, once the doors were fully closed, lay down her head on the desk for a nap.

**At The Apartment**

"Well this is…"

"Shit?"

"…yeah."

The trio were inspecting the apartment. And not liking what they saw. It was cold, damp and small. But it would do. Danie sat on the sofa, waiting for the others to join her. When they did, she grinned and said "So. This'll be fun!" The others looked at her incredulously. "What?"

Sarah looked out of the window, then back at Danie. "Fun? We're in an anime. In a village full of ninja. With no way to get home. How will this be fun?" Matt decided to add in his own point "Excuse me, but I don't even watch anime so I have no idea what the fuck is going on! I don't even know what half of the things they're talking about mean!"

"Suck it up" Danie slapped him on the head. "Besides we're stuck so we might as well make the most of it" Sarah raised an eyebrow.

"Pffft. You just want to meet Gaara." There was a moment of silence… then the three burst out laughing. After about ten (long) minutes, they calmed down. Danie looked at her watch.

"Okay. We need to think of names, and a team name. I'm Aryuu and Sarah's Yami because they're our OC/fan fiction names. What about Matt?" Sarah and Danie both looked at Matt, who sported a deer-caught-in-headlights look. "I don't know any Japanese names! You come up with one!" He shouted. The girls looked at each other, then Matt, then back at each other. They both grinned and said in unison "Niko." Then the two burst out laughing… again. Matt looked more confused than ever.

"What does Niko mean?" Danie sat up, trying to get her breath back after the laughing fit and said breathlessly, "Smile." …then burst out laughing a third time. Matt looked horrified. But he figured it could be worse. After all… his friends could be seriously evil when it came to things he didn't understand. After another twenty minutes or so of the girls laughing and Matt being pissed, it was quiet again. Sarah looked at Danie. "We need a team name or number." Danie smirked, almost cackling.

"We already have one."

"No way. We can't be called that here! That was just a joke!"

"Of course we can be called that. We're going to leave soon anyway. So it doesn't matter what we're called."

Matt looked at each girl in turn. "What are you talking about?" The girls looked at Matt, then each other, then back at Matt again and said, in unison, "Team Baka."

(end of piece of story thing)

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**I wrote most of this when I was off school with a cold. It was... interesting. I know I said I would never write a story but I _was _forced.**

**Don't know when the next chaapter will be up... whenever me and Kyu can be bothered most likely.**

**Review and I give u cookies, waffles and Naruto character plushie of your choice! 'Cause I'm nice. XP**


	2. Crap!

_Kyu: YAY! I'm in Emo's house! Fhear meh!_

_**Yami: …**_

_Kyu: And now I is not. Yami-chan has a boyfriend! :D_

**Yami: And now for the next chapter! . Wheeeeeee fun! Sorry for the delay peoples, my laptop died, then I just kinda couldn't be arsed acoz I had major writers block. So this chapter is kinda short and probably not as good as the first. Sorry!**

_Kyu: I ish speshul! :D With teh capitul 'R'!! :D_

* * *

Team Baka

Chapter 2: Crap!

"But, Lady Hokage…"

"No, buts, I need someone to keep and eye on those three and give them some training or they'll get themselves killed."

"But, my class-!"

"I'm having Shikamaru teach them, he needs something to do."

"Very well, Lady Hokage."

* * *

"I CLAIM THIS ROOM!" Aryuu shrieked and bounced into the room left of the kitchen and stuck her head out the window, watching all the people pass below.

"Message to people of Konoha: I'M A KITTY!!" the neko-girl declared, causing a few people to look around in confusion. Yami walked into the room and shoved Aryuu back into the living area.

"That is just not a good idea. Just. No." Aryuu hmphed.

"Well you don't have to be so mean about it." she sulked poking her tongue out. The two walked back into the living room. Yami gestured to the room next to Aryuu's.

"I'm staying in here." She pointed to the next one on in the other wall. "Niko's staying in here." Said boy stuck his head out of said room.

"What's going on?"

"Da- _Aryuu _nearly killed herself leaning out the window." Yami hit Aryuu in the middle of her back (**A/N: **it's most painful there) "Idiot." Niko stared at Aryuu… The ran over and smacked her upside the head.

"Bad Aryuu!" She glared at him.

"It's not like I was gonna freaking JUMP!" she spat, swiping at him.

"So? You know you could've fallen and hurt yourself!"

"Oh, don't be such a woman!"

"Dyke!"

"BUTTMUCH!!" Their fight was interrupted by Yami covering both their mouths.

"Now. When I let go, you have to promise to- OW! THE FUCK!?" Aryuu had bitten her hand… hard. Niko had licked the other one. "What the fuck is wrong with you two!? Why can't you just have a normal conversation. You know, without the made up insults!?" Niko just laughed and the silvette stared blankly at her. "Where's the fun in that?" she asked, head cocked slightly to the side. Yami just groaned and turned away from the two, 'Why do I hang out with them…?'

(KNOCK KNOCK)"I'LL GET IT!" Aryuu squealed bounding towards the door. The chunnin outside was prepared for the three strangers.

"Oof!" He was not, however, prepared to be jumped on by a teenage catgirl squeeing.

"IRUKA-SENSEI!!" But, the hug was not to be, and the neko found herself coughing smoke and hugging a log.

"Ha ha! Aryuu's a TREE HUGGER!!" Niko pointed at said girl and laughed his head off. Iruka bent his head around the door, grinning awkwardly.

"Uh… I was told to come here to talk to…" He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and read it. "…'The people from another world'?" Aryuu was about to jump on him again before she was held back by Yami.

"Yes, that would be us. Nice to meet you Iruka-sensei." Shoving the squirming cat-girl away she reached out and grasped the bewildered teacher's hand. "Sorry for my friends… enthusiasm." She said, trying to be as polite as possible, even forcing smile onto her face. Iruka smiled back and shook her hand,

"That's ok. I'm used to somewhat… hyperactive personalities." (**A/N:** Three guesses who he's talking about. First two don't count.)

"I'M NOT HYPER!"

"And I'm straight."

"LIAR!"

"Exactly."

"Oh, you- er, I-, well you- …I hate you."

"You love me really."

"NUHHHHH! I LOVE GAAAAAAAAAAA- er, POCKY!" the silvette declared, changing her mind half-way through, not wanting to seem like a nut job. Fail. Massive fail.

"…are they… always like that?" Iruka asked the raven haired girl, who answered without hesitation.

"Yes." Iruka groaned, this was going to be a lot harder than he'd thought. "Well, actually…" Yami mused, staring at her bickering friends, "…they're usually even worse." Correction, SUPER hard.

* * *

"Weapons?"

"Nope." Yami replied.

"Taijutsu?"

"No." Niko said, confused.

"Anything?"

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUH! SO TEEEEAAAAACCCCCH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Aryuu squealed bouncing around, tugging on the poor chuunin's arm. Iruka was two annoying things and a prank from replacing Naruto's name with Aryuu's on the List Of People Not To Give Sugar Ever. "Teach me. Teach me. Teach me. Teach me! Teach me! Teach me! Teach me! Teach me! _Teach me! Teach me! Teach me! _…what are you staring at?"

"Just waiting to see how long you could go without oxygen."

"Oh…"

"..."

"…_TEACH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_" Iruka had finally snapped.

"For your information, I WAS GOING TO ANYWAY!" Aryuu's eyes suddenly grew as big as Sasuke's inferiority complex.

"B-but… I was just… I just… wanna… nyeh!" She ran and hid behind Yami, who just pushed her away and went to stand on the other side of the room.

"Crazy Bitch." She muttered whilst glaring at her friend who was now hiding behind a confused Niko.

"I'm not crazy… YOU'RE CRAZY" She cackled evilly. Iruka just stared at the three. _'Damn that Hokage for making me do this. I don't think I'll live to 30.' _He looked at the brunette.

"How about you get settled in and we can sort out training another time?"

"How about tomorrow?" She questioned.

"Fine" _'I was hoping for sometime… less soon than that.' _He glanced around at the teens once more. _'But I'll do anything to get out of here.'_ He practically ran out the door and slammed it behind him. Yami turned to her friends "… I get the impression that he didn't like us much."

"Well, I think he was ADORABLE!" Aryuu squeed and was about to start running around the house again before Yami stopped her.

"Bed. Now."

"YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!"

"No… but I _am _the most mature out of the three of us. Besides, it's late, I'm going to bed, and I don't trust you to be awake and alone in the middle of Konoha."

"Fine, but just so you know, I'm waking you up at 6am."

"Fine." And the two went off, leaving Niko standing in the living room alone.

"Umm…. Night then."

_

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_

Kyu: OMG! Cheap shot at the chicken-butt-child! :D (flees angry fangirls)

**Yami: Keep a look out for the next chapter! Though it may not be along for awhile.  
I'm not going to lie to you, if you review, I will give you nothing. Kyu ate all the cookies. (glares at kyu)**

_Kyu: :D_

**Yami: But, review anyway and you'll make us happy . BYE!!**


End file.
